I wish otherwise, but with the flow I go.

Letting go

marks a new beginning,

it symbolizes

strength and enlightenment.

People walk in and out of our lives.

Some choose to stay,

some walk out unnoticeable,

while the others, leave their footprints behind.
As much as one's memory can hold,
everything fades with time.
Everything.

Sometimes it's not the decision that matters, it's the intepretation.

It has been days since I've wanted to blog, but never gotten the chance to go abt it. Sometimes when you procrastinate too much, you tend to lose the interest. I just deleted my entire draft as whatever written days back is no longer how I feel presently. Nothing is permanent, as the Buddha teaching says.

Looking back at my old writings makes me realize that I've actually changed quite a bit. Sometimes we really do need to be reminded of the past to reflect who we are today. Honestly speaking, I do not quite like who I've become. I don't know how, why or when I've became this way, but I certainly do not enjoy being the person I am currently. I feel so distant from my inner self. From the person I once was. From who I've always wanted to be.

People do change with time. It is inevitable. However, I'm sure there must be a way to modify these changes.

Jun Shen was kind enough to be my patient.
I was performing hand scaling on him. Satisfactory treatment, though I took a lil long. =)

Andrew took over with ultrasonic scaling.

Andrew's a left hander so he had to pull the entire control panel to the other side.
I'm beginning to worry for myself.

Yvonne came to Penang for the weekend. We had some really good time together, spent too much of money and ate like there's no tomorrow.

Sausages. Too costly.

Extremely good carbonara.

Pork knuckles. Huge.

Chong Ming figuring out how to tackle the meat.

Pork ribs. Too bony.

Healy Mac's, in Straitquay.

Mansion 69

Seafood at Bayan Lepas.

**************************



I may not be the best friend, but I'm one of out the million who cares.
Happy 22nd Birthday. =)



**************************

Tell me and I forget.

Teach me and I remember.

Involve me and I learn.

- Benjamin Franklin

What rain does to the dentists

I sneaked out of Perio department to come online in the library.

Rainy days are the days we do nothing.

 


The view from the library.

 

No wonder I never liked the rain. It makes people lazy. Patients can't come to the clinic, I can't meet my scaling quota. I basically sat in the cubicle idly the entire morning. I took a 40 min nap in the R & R (Rest and Recreation) after lunch. The sofa right at the back of the room is a good spot to sleep, a tip for those who often get tired, like myself. This is probably the....3rd or 4th time I slept there. I felt as if I took a sedative. The only thing which bothers me slightly is the CCTV right on top of my head. Someone watches the video on the 18th floor. I always wonder if it's an offense to sleep on the sofa, but so far I haven't gotten into trouble. So i suppose it's legal? Anyway, I'm not doing in during class time.



The 'appropriate' place to sleep during class time would be the dental chair. I once 'dozed off' on the dental chair with a spectacle hanging loosely on my nose and a textbook opened on my lap. It was a safe position which I deliberately portrayed, because, it looked as if I 'fell asleep'. I actually got caught by Dr Kanaga last Friday. Being all groggy, I walked towards him when he called upon my name. For a moment I thought I got into trouble. It was no hot soup though, I was only told to wash my face.=)

People always asks me why I choose this course. I never chose this. I was led into this path, but honestly, I feel nothing, but grateful about it. I doubt I would enjoy any other course more than dentistry (alright, mayb an exception to culinary art). I admit that I'm only mediocre with my hands, but it's the nature of this course which makes it so interesting. Being a combination of art and science, it is challenging yet not too taxing. The only setback is that this course really burns a hole in my pocket (or more like my parents'), as we constantly have to buy our own instruments, which by the way, is not at all cheap.

Class ended at 4pm. By 4.30pm, Roselyn, Shue Kang and I headed to Snowish, a taiwanese dessert place, a close imitation of Snowflake.

This is yummy, but extreeeemely filling. I recommend sharing.

This is kinda tasteless.

I'm planning to get this phone. Still contemplating though.

Any idea what phone is cheap yet good?

The truth is always hurtful.

I guess sometimes I really am very insensitive. I often find joy in teasing and laughing at people, though I never ever mean them in a bad way. I can never tell if they're hurt, especially when they put on a smile.

Right now I feel so lost. I don't know if i should alter the way I interact with people. Or make them understand that I don't at all mean to hurt them. Or perhaps, just leave it. What I do know though, is that when someone has a problem with me, I rather that he tells me in my face, than writing it in his blog and let me find out about it that way. I suppose, I, being the criminal here, have no right to choose the best possible way to realize my own mistake.

I never used to apologize. I never used to bow to others. But as I grow, I learn to be humble. I learn to say "I'm sorry". And I try to mean it when i say it. I'm sorry I never realized that I hurt you. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for everything that you don't like about me. And i'm sorry for being this way. It won't happen again, because I now know, that you're not one to play with. I guess civillian and military personnel don't interact the same way. I should have known better. It's true, indeed civillians won't bother changing themselves to fit into the army. I know I won't. Mayb it's because I'm not even in the army right now, nor will I ever be in one. I know you're trying hard to fit in and I'm only making it harder for you. Forget all my words. I'm sorry for hurting you. I really am. I will watch my words with you from now on. I guess being spontaneous has it's downside.



If the world cannot accept who you are, you put on a mask and give them the look that they want. They shall see only what pleases them, but never the pure face beneath that mask.



Revolution

I guess, I've been inspired to blog recently. Reading good blogs make me feel like I need to put a lil more effort into mine. I've been told many times, that my old blog, the one when I was in Argentina, is far more interesting than the current one. I honestly have no idea why I couldn't write like before. I suppose as I grow older, I do not feel as comfortable revealing my private life to the public. I used to write just about anything that happened and everything that came across my mind. Ppl always find joy in digging into others' life. This blog, on the other hand, contains me in a different way. It's more of my thoughts than stories.

However, I am going to TRY, from now on, to incorporate my life stories into this blog.

I'm posted in Periodontics (scaling department) for 3 weeks now. Any of you who wants to get scaling done by me can pay me a visit. I'm inexperienced and not tactful, so come at your own risk. I'm guessing there'll be a lot of stories coming up soon from here. Prolly ranging from being blasted for doing a bad scaling to mastering it and feeling all satisfied.

Oh gosh, I just realized I haven't gotten my instruments sterilized!!!!!! First mistake, before I even stepped into the department. Geeeez... Wish me luck, man.



Blabber

Life would be so beautiful, if we had no worries to intoxicate our happy moments.
The happiest man is, one who has nothing to hide.
There're so many setbacks in life, they just keep coming, like a pest in our favourite plant.
It'll never end, and this, makes life frustrating.
But what would an easy life make us?
"HAPPY!"...yea that's definitely my answer.
I dream of peaceful days and life with no financial constraint.
If I had plenty of money, I'll eat them all up. I mean..splurge on food.
If I had no exams, I'd be in the theatre all day.
If I had no flaws, I'd be the happiest person alive.
Would I know how to be happy though, if I had no miseries to remind me of the delight.
Life probably wouldn't be as colourful without the dark colours making the contrast.
Sometimes I feel so depressed thinking of all the weaknesses I possess, all the mistakes I've made, all the opportunities I've missed.
At times I wish I was given a break, a moment free of troubles and darkness.
But as I grieve and fill myself with selfpity, there's somehow always an angel whispering to my ears.
She sings the song of life to me, so soothing and meaningful.
And that gives me strength to fight against everything that pulls me down.
Life is a perpetual cycle of glory and pitfall.
Most people succeed not because they have extraordinary talents, but because of their extraordinary perseverance.
If you would just try one more time, who knows, that could be the day yr dream comes true.

Priest

When life knocks you down, try to land on your back.

Because if you can look up, you can get up.

Let your reason get you back up. - Brown, Les

Friday the 13^th is indeed a bad day.

I had an emotional storm earlier today.

It was made out of sadness and anger,

worries and nuisance.

Worst of all,

I had been a bad friend today.

I know I really do suck at pujuk-ing or comforting ppl,

or mayb I just don't care enough.

Whatever it is,

I really do feel bad for not being there for you when u needed me just now.

I guess I was selfish.

I needed some fun to cheer me up after the long horrible day.

I chose sth else instead of attending to you.

Which friend does that, right?

I shall try,

and keep trying,

to be a friend, as good as you.

A million apologies,

hopefully accepted.