Have you ever felt like you've got everything yet you feel empty inside?
I rmb feeling this a lot back in my uni days while I was in India. I had a very good time back there, yet I could recall having many conversations about "Life" with Ming and Roselyn. I used to sigh a lot, thinking about life. What did a young adult like me have to worry about back then anyway? Nothing much other than studying, really. I rmb wondering why I felt that way. Why wouldn't I be content. And then I met my current bf who told me all about God. He said men can never be whole without God. I have always been curious to know if that would make all the difference, but part of me is holding back. It's not easy to embrace a whole new belief. I always told myself that I don't care if I were really thrown into the lake of fire for not believing in God, because I think it's unfair to use fear to guide someone into a religion. It's similar to a blackmail. Embrace me or you suffer. How is that even Godly in the first place? How am I suppose to accept it when all I feel is threat? I know I'm not a bad person, but if you think I deserve to be punished just for not knowing you, I rest my case. I mean no disrespect. I mean no insult. Maybe it's not my time yet. Or maybe its not meant for me. Ming said, God has a way to reach out to us. I suppose, if it's meant to be, it will.
As a kid, I used to ponder a lot over our very existence. We grow up having to study (which I didn't fancy much), then having to work (which didn't seem very appealing either), and in the midst of all that we have happy and devastating moments, we fall sick, we meet the love of our lives, start a family, have kids, lose the people we love, grow old and we die. We come...and then we go. I always wondered why did we bother even existing in the first place. Maybe to some people, experiencing the journey of life, all those various emotions and moments are worth all the pain that accompanies them. But for the longest time, I was seeking answers. And 1 day, my current bf who was merely a classmate back then asked me "Have you ever wondered why we exist?" OMG, I have asked myself that question my entire life!
I have always thought, meeting my bf was fate. There is an important role he plays in my life. We do not always see eye to eye, we have our good and bad times, but I know, he was sent into my life for a reason.
