Why women are stupid sometimes.

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS)

It is something most women face monthly. Some men might think this is an excuse for us women to behave unreasonably. Unfortunately, the way these hormones make us feel is beyond our control. Irritability. Depression. Mood swings. Fatigue. It's not something we can snap out of just like that.

About a week ago, I came home from yoga tired. As I was washing up, my bf was complaining about how he had to dispose the garbage bags in the kitchen as they were infested with ants. And went on with all the other things he did that day. I was so irritated and I snapped "Big deal? You throw it once and you have to brag about it. Who does it all the time?!?!?!" And i went on and on scolding him....


With an innocent face and a soft voice, he asked "But i didn't do anything wrong, why am i being scolded?"

I paused. I thought for a bit. And I answered guiltily "I'm having PMS......."

He looked at me, and gave me an "It's okay look".

I felt slightly bad, but I wasn't done PMS-ing.....

So came his "punishment". I asked him to perform a simple yoga stunt which I couldn't do properly in class earlier on. Well, I was genuinely curious if he could do it actually. Reluctantly, he did it. Despite his halfhearted attempt, it lifted my mood. He was really tired that day, but he layan me anyway. I went to bed feeling better, thanks to him.


But no, PMS isn't for only a day.


2 days later, I attended my yoga studio's anniversary dinner. At the end of the event, each performer was presented with a bouquet of flowers. I looked at mine. And I looked around at others'. Mine was SO UGLY! Every other bouquet was so pretty. :( :( :( I drove home feeling EXTREMELY SAD. I kept wondering why I'm so unlucky. Why did i have to get that ugly bouquet. I even had to comfort myself by telling myself that flowers only last for a few days, after that they all die. They are only ugly for a couple of days! Honestly, I felt really stupid for even feeling depressed over flowers =.= Like seriously???? I was so aware of how stupid I was being, but that doesn't mean I can stop feeling sad. I couldnt'.

I reached home. My bf casually asked how my night went. I looked at him, and I really didn't feel like talking about it. But I answered his question honestly anyway. "I'm very sad."

My answer caught his attention. He was so curious, "WHY????"

At that moment, I was contemplating whether to mention it. "......It's a very stupid reason......."

"Just tell me!"

I blurted out "They gave me flowers and it's so ugly! :( :( :("

He asked in a ridiculous tone "Ha? You're sad because the flowers are ugly???? Where are the flowers?"

I defended myself, "But other peoples' flowers are SO BEAUTIFUL. LIKE SOOOO PRETTY. And mine is SO SUPER UGLY. Why did i get the ugly flowers??? :( :( :( Why am I so unlucky?????" "They are outside. I don't want to look at them......... :(:(:("

He ran out to look at the flowers. Then he came back, slightly laughing and said, "It's okay. They are just flowers"




I know sometimes I get so easily affected during my Premenstrual period. I think it's pretty ridiculous too, but those emotions are so real. They are so strong. I really can't help it. I'm just grateful that my bf is very understanding when it comes to this. Well, we have gone a long way, I guess he knows the drill. ;)



Kudos to all men who treat their ladies right when they PMS! Sincerely appreciate the effort. We acknowledge it, and we love you for it! <3

Are you real?

Have you ever felt like you've got everything yet you feel empty inside?

I rmb feeling this a lot back in my uni days while I was in India. I had a very good time back there, yet I could recall having many conversations about "Life" with Ming and Roselyn. I used to sigh a lot, thinking about life. What did a young adult like me have to worry about back then anyway? Nothing much other than studying, really. I rmb wondering why I felt that way. Why wouldn't I be content. And then I met my current bf who told me all about God. He said men can never be whole without God. I have always been curious to know if that would make all the difference, but part of me is holding back. It's not easy to embrace a whole new belief. I always told myself that I don't care if I were really thrown into the lake of fire for not believing in God, because I think it's unfair to use fear to guide someone into a religion. It's similar to a blackmail. Embrace me or you suffer. How is that even Godly in the first place? How am I suppose to accept it when all I feel is threat? I know I'm not a bad person, but if you think I deserve to be punished just for not knowing you, I rest my case. I mean no disrespect. I mean no insult. Maybe it's not my time yet. Or maybe its not meant for me. Ming said, God has a way to reach out to us. I suppose, if it's meant to be, it will.


As a kid, I used to ponder a lot over our very existence. We grow up having to study (which I didn't fancy much), then having to work (which didn't seem very appealing either), and in the midst of all that we have happy and devastating moments, we fall sick, we meet the love of our lives, start a family, have kids, lose the people we love, grow old and we die. We come...and then we go. I always wondered why did we bother even existing in the first place. Maybe to some people, experiencing the journey of life, all those various emotions and moments are worth all the pain that accompanies them. But for the longest time, I was seeking answers. And 1 day, my current bf who was merely a classmate back then asked me "Have you ever wondered why we exist?" OMG, I have asked myself that question my entire life!


I have always thought, meeting my bf was fate. There is an important role he plays in my life. We do not always see eye to eye, we have our good and bad times, but I know, he was sent into my life for a reason.

#tamakpahala

When I was still in uni, I remember vaguely that I had something in mind. Something kind. A plan to help the needy. I can't remember what prompted me at that time. I remember fantasizing about preparing meals and distributing them to all the homeless folks. This seems rather surreal now, it could have been only a dream. I don't know. But a post I read on Fb yesterday triggered this memory.

This guy by the name of Syed Azmi. You probably would have heard of him, he's pretty well known for his kind acts. I only got to know about him about a week back, and I started following his posts closely. This man, he is really special. He is inspiring. He inspires me, a lot.

So, what's the deal with this guy? He carries out many projects to help the needy. Needy, not necessarily poor. According to him, a rich man is a needy man if he forgets his wallet on that day. Well, makes sense, doesn't it? His ideas are very refreshing. He wants to instill kindness in people. He aims at painting smiles over faces, regardless of their background. He is non-judgmental, the quality above all that I respect.

Yesterday, he carried out a project called "Suspended Bazaar Ramadhan". Basically, what he did was that he picked a stall at the bazaar, paid for all the food but left them there for the vendor to give away for FREE. A notice was placed over the stall stating:

" Kuih Percuma! Jemput ambil buat keluarga. Ambil lebih sikit buat jiran, boleh? "

People who cannot afford would not go to a Bazaar Ramadhan. So, by allowing the public to take extra, they could potentially pass the food to their needy neighbors.

I was instantly enticed by the idea. I actually planned in my head of carrying out a similar deed myself, but it wasn't long before I dropped it. Just a couple of hours before that, I had an inane conversation with my staffs about opening a stall at the bazaar, selling drinks as it requires the least effort but brings big profits. My staffs told me that Muslims will not purchase from a non-Muslim vendor even if it is certified halal. They just wouldn't. I protested that we non-Muslims always frequent Malay stalls, they should probably do the same (provided it's halal). She said it's just the way they are here. They just won't.

I was excited, thinking about how it would cheer people up by giving away free food at the bazaar. I then went on imagining myself being the person handing them the free food, and how they would not have visited my stall if it wasn't for free because of my race. I desisted. My emotions changed. By this time, I was a little annoyed. The frivolous remark made by my staffs had ruined a potential good deed.

Perhaps Syed Azmi could once again instill some virtue in me. As always, I look forward to his stories.

Do check his page out, if you haven't already.

Cheers.

When you think you have it all...

I know a story of a young lady who died of cancer. A true story. She was my age when she was first diagnosed with cancer, which was around this time last year. Like any other cancer patient, she was devastated. Afraid. Crushed. So many questions went through her head. A myriad of emotions rushed through her veins. Despite all the physical and emotional torture she was put through, she managed to pull through. She underwent a series of diagnostic tests, 2 surgeries, 12 weeks of chemotherapy and 3 weeks of radiotherapy within 6 months. When I heard about the story of this brave girl, she was recovering from her illness. She had announced it on Facebook, the whole ordeal.

Just a couple of days back, news came that she had passed away. I don't know her personally, she was just a girl in the story I heard. But I wanted to get to know her, so I went on her Fb page, scanned through her posts and pictures. She looked sweet, and from what I gathered, she seemed opinionated and sophisticated. I also realized that she was the girlfriend of my ex-classmate. This suddenly seemed so much more real. The gf of my friend just died of cancer. This fatal disease took her life in exactly 1 year. I don't know which type it was, but it must have been an aggressive one. I was trying to put myself in her shoes. In his shoes. In her parents' shoes. I wanted to view this in every possible perspective. Because, this could be ME. This could be YOU. Or anyone you LOVE.

Life could take turns in any direction. At any time. And we can never be ready for it.

Honestly, I don't think many people these days would make it till old age. You hear news of planes going missing, terrorist attacks, natural disasters. On top of the regular health issues and motor vehicle accidents that normally grab lives, weird things are happening. Some say the world is coming to an end. I don't think much about it, but I suppose deep down, I believe it is.

Life is so precious and fragile.

Appreciate every moment and treasure every relationship. You never know which day is your last.

A changing moment

There was one morning, probably about a month back, like on any other working morning, I came out of the house ready to head to work. I'm normally rather oblivious and ignorant, but not on that particular morning. I heard 2 women giggling away, and I extended my neck a little to see 2 aunties happily plucking the mangoes outside my house. Those mangoes aren't mine, they belong to my landlord, but I guess I didn't like the fact that people could be so shameless to continue taking what's not theirs despite my presence.

I walked towards the fence where they were,"Aunty.....", I called out politely. I hadn't figured out what I wanted to say. I just wanted them to know that I saw them. Now, this isn't something I'd easily do, I don't fancy the idea of approaching people or initiating anything, really. But I did, that one extraordinary morning.

They replied in Mandarin. Basically what they said was that my landlord had told them to help themselves with the mangoes, before they were stolen by the passersby. I nodded and smiled approvingly. They then introduced themselves as my neighbors, pointing to their respective houses right across the street. One of them mentioned that she was going to make pickled mangoes and offered to give me some. I declined politely, but she insisted. And she really did deliver those mangoes later that day.

Nothing much happened after that day.

I had a little extra time in the morning yesterday, so I brought some garbage out for disposal before heading to work. My 72 year old Chinese neighbor startled me by calling out for me from across the street. She was saying something and was about to cross the road. I wanted to save her the trouble, so I walked over instead. She asked if I was the dentist she spoke to the other day. I told her it was me. She looked so happy, and offered to cook something nice for me. She said she would deliver it over when I get back from work. I didn't really want her food, but I didn't want to reject her either. So i nodded in dilemma, and offered to come over instead.

After work yesterday, I went over to her place with some homemade dumplings. I was a little nervous, but I had a promise to uphold. She welcomed me in her sarong, which made me a little awkward somehow. With much excitement, she started showing me what she had cooked, which wasn't a lot. There were a small plate of vegetables, a plate of fried fishes and some sambal on a saucer. With so much kindness in her voice, she offered to give me half of the vegetables, but i quickly rejected. My heart broke. There wasn't a lot of food on the table, but she wanted to share. I couldn't comprehend the situation. I insisted that she keeps the food for herself, but as usual, she won and off I went with half her vegetables and sambal. She lives with her daughter and 2 grandchildren who she introduced to me. By the end of the visit, she had gotten my phone number so that she could call me up whenever she cooks something nice. She invited me to drop by to eat whenever I have time, and asked me to bring her along to the market whenever I go. I'm not sure where the enthusiasm came from. She does have a family, so it can't be loneliness. Maybe she wanted me to have some family love knowing that I come from another state. Whatever it is, I'm really touched by her hospitality, however, uncomfortable at the same time.


Is it just me, or is this whole situation really weird? I don't know, I guess some people are naturally and genuinely warm and giving.

I finally met Jane Chuck and Daphne Charice!

Or at least that's what I thought for a mere 10 minutes?

I had a dream this morning.

Alright, so it goes back to abt half a year ago, when I first got to know about Jane Chuck and Daphne Charice (Malaysian bloggers). I started following their blog and Instagram. They're pretty famous in Malaysia, Jane has abt 300++k followers on IG, while Daphne close to 100k. They're both best friends just in case you have no clue who they are.

1 fine day, I had this random thought. There are many cafes that have sprung up in the last few years, some serve really good food and coffees, some don't. But they all seem to be doing okay, if not well. I live in Alor Setar and there's absolutely nothing to do here, so I visit cafes every now and then to kill time. For the past year, I have noticed many new cafes opening here. All of them are surviving (except one, which always seems empty when I drive past), but not all are decent. So I was thinking, if Jane and Daphne both open up a cafe, whether or not they serve quality food and beverages, they can easily maintain their customers or expand their business merely with their popularity. Honestly, I would want to hang out in their cafe just to probably catch a glance of them, OR maybe have a lil conversation *gasp*, OR take a selfie with them *faints*, OR perhaps just drinking coffee made by them (I don't even like coffees actually). And they'll make big bucks just from this!

That was just a random thought. Which I shared with Ming a couple of months back.

Yesterday, I think I found out that both of them had opened a cafe together. Called Project Space Coffee. It's all very vague because I see many "congratulations" and "what's the operating hours" and "is this yr cafe" but never clear answers for the last question. However, I assume it's true. Because I really wish they did. And I would totally visit.

Going back to the original topic. So perhaps due to yesterday's discovery, I dreamt that I met Daphne and Jane, probably in their cafe, though it seems more like my aunt's house (which doesn't make a lot of sense). Anyway, in my dream, I was trying to talk to Daphne but she didn't seem too keen in replying me. I was obviously a lil disheartened. I always wonder how it'd be like if ever I met them. I'd probably be very nervous and all. Though to think abt it, I really shouldn't be. I'm older than them. I'm a dentist! I meet random people all the time and I talk to strangers a lot. But. But. They're so pretty! Yea, that must be it. They're probably too pretty, with flawless skin and everything for me to talk to them normally.
But oh well, if I really do see them one day, lets say in their "newly opened cafe" (if its even real), I do hope that they will be nice and friendly. *fingers crossed* ;)


On a side note, I think I MIGHT have sorta overcome my phobia of approaching preggies. (I previously had trouble getting them for dental check-ups because I, in the recent years, has developed into an introvert, and approaching random ppl isn't my forte.) But since this is part of my job, I had no choice but to go against my instinct and bring myself to do what I really hate. And I have sucked at it, as revealed by the record we keep. However, for the past 2 visits, I surprisingly exceeded my personal quota (which is a pathetic 3, or on a good day, 5). I managed to fetch 16 preggies yesterday! Unbelievable, isn't it? *gloats*

So what has changed? I don't really know. I'm guessing it's because I moved to more strategic location, so it's somewhat easier for me to catch them. And I have been making it a point to go with a white coat, so that they realize I'm actually a Dr, and not a COLGATE PROMOTER.
Oh, another trick is to look somewhat serious, so it looks like I'm busy doing my job and it' s part of the routine though the truth is, I'm partially interfering their check-up process with the medical doctors. Well just a lil bit. :)

Lets hope this spirit stays on a lil bit longer. ;)

Plastic, so what?

I think the society is grossly divided into 3 categories of ppl:
1) the judgemental
2) the neutral/open
3) the indifferent

I probably fall somewhere in between neutral or indifferent. The most annoying type is obviously the judgemental who likes to condemn others.

Truth is, everyone is different, and whatever that differs from the norm isn't necessarily bad. I don't mean to self-praise but I do think that I'm pretty accepting and I respect people's life choices. I hardly despise, I never like to judge, as long as your actions do not cross/harm me.

I never understand why others find plastic surgery such a big fuss. Yes she wasn't born that way, and she decided to improve her looks, so what? Millions of people wear braces to change their horribly aligned teeth, and that's not natural as well. Don't tell me it doesn't change yr look much, IT SURELY DOES. It even changes your jawline if you have extracted some teeth. Maybe that's a small scale beauty adjustment but if you're all about being natural and accepting the way you're born then don't do anything at all. Maybe you're not going to her extent because your problem/need isn't as great as hers. But don't be too quick to judge. I think it's pretty hypocritical to be selectively accepting of beauty corrections. Like it's perfectly acceptable to extract 4 teeth and rearrange your horribly aligned teeth but it's so wrong/vain to inject some fillers to sharpen slightly your nose or have fuller lips.

You know many people paste eyelid stickers to have nicer double eyelids, and if you use it long enough, those folds can become permanent.
So, the idea of pasting stickers seem quite alright, but undergoing eyelid surgeries is a no-no? If you think about it, the results are the same! In the end, you get fake double eyelids which you were never born with.

"Their children won't look like them". So what, your children don't always look like you! I don't look like either of my parent. I'm not heartbroken, it's not even a big deal. Maybe if you point out that her husband will be shocked if their children turn out to look like her ugly past, it's kinda valid. So if her husband knows, it's all good? Many people are becoming more honest about their plastic surgeries.(I think it's annoying if you're plastic but claim to be all natural, so just come clean!) And I think the reason to remain ugly just so that people can recognize at first glance those are your children, is so stupid!

People undergo so much pain and sacrifice so much money in hope that they can look better. It's really their choice. If they truly feel happier and more confident with their new look, let them be? Some are lucky to be born pretty, with flawless skin and nice eyes, some aren't. If you're contented with the way you are, it's really good for you, you save yourself a lot of trouble and money. Try to be empathetic, not judgemental. The world could really use more ppl like this.


P.S. I'm not saying this because I have any intention of going plastic in the future, I'm just really annoyed sometimes by all the insensitive comments.

Don't ever say you'll NEVER EVER do this EVEN IF you look a certain way, because you'll never really know until you're in that situation.
No offence ppl, just my thoughts.